QUESTION: Who will take the garbage out if I Poison my family?

Oh, wait, I take the garbage out most of the time anyway...but.....I still kind of like my family so I probably shouldn't poison them! OK, so Halloween is almost here and things are gettin' a little weird. Thank goodness there is a ghost in my house to tell me these things!
Feeling much better from the vertigo, light headed but able to function, I figured on making a meal for the family, much to their surprise, last evening. Hum, let's see, what can I whip up that is easy, tasty and available? How about tortilleni with homemade speghetti sauce? OK! Down into the dungeon of my ever growing, never rotating, room I go to fetch a few cans of the 900 cans of tomato sauce from the darkened food storage.....ewww, scarey!

Little did I know what was looming in those cans!!! I retrieved my cans of sauce and proceeded up to the kitchen to mix up my delectible creation as I had already browned the meat. I opened the first can. Funny smell. "Don't do it", I thought I heard. It must be that I was still just a little bit light headed from the vertigo I thought. I poured it into the meat pan. Next can. Funny smell. Again, "Don't Do It" came whispering to my soul. "I'll just add a few more onions and spices." Oh well, maybe it's just me. Into the meat it went. Third and 4th cans opened to add to the uneasy feeling. Finally, I heard the Ghost SHOUT! Not in my spinning ears but in my head, or maybe my heart! DO NOT EAT THIS or FEED THIS TO YOUR FAMILY! I did not walk but RAN to the computer to Google Hunt's and found their 1-800-# and made the call. "Can you tell me what the shelf life is of a can of Hunt's Tomato Sauce?" As it turns out, the helpful person on the other end of the line explained to me that starting in 2004, the company put "best if used by" dates on the bottom of their cans. I had No dates on the bottoms of mine! ZERO! He warned, "YOUR sauce is WAY TO OLD to use!" I thanked him as the overwhelming feeling assured me that I had already been warned by "a Ghost" not to eat the sauce or I would be poisoning my family! The garbage disposal side of the sink gobbeled up the meat sauce in 2 seconds flat! And the rest of the cans, I took out to the garbage!

Now, I ask you,

"Do you have dates on your Tomato Sauce" ?

"Do you rotate your food storage or just watch it grow and go to bed at night with the feeling that you are all obedient and stuff , like me?"

"Do you have a Ghost in your house, like I do"?

Thank Heaven's for my HOLY GHOST!

PS. Does anyone know of a good sale on 900 fresh cans of tomato sauce?