I wish I was more prepared when I said, "Yes Mam-mo Please"-

The term "Yes mam" is a common phrase in the South.

It is a term of respect.

It is a natural, common response to the elderly woman such as mother, grandmother, teacher, store clerk, waitress, etc.

Yes mam is a good thing in the south.

Unless, however you are familiar with the response elsewhere in the country, it can take you by surprise.

I remember a boy in 7Th grade that moved into town and attended our little high school and used the term whenever he was spoken to, "yes mam or yes sir" whatever the case may be. There were many kids who instinctively held their breath the first time they heard him use the phrase because it was not uncommon for a student to be sent to the principals office for saying such a smartalic response to an adult. It was generally viewed as an insult by a sassy teenager according to most adults in our small Mountain town. Fortunately, the teachers soon realized that this kid had moved to our town from the South and was not being a brat.

Lucky him!

There is another term similar to "Yes Mam" but it means something completely different.

You must include 2 more letters and a please.

It is the phrase,

"Yes, Mam-mo Please".
A couple of weeks ago, I made a phone call. It was to the Hospital. I knew it was time since the last time I made this phone call was a year ago. They sent me a letter or I would surely have claimed that I forgot! I get the same letter once a year.

"Dear Mrs. Cottrell, It's time!"

I dread getting that letter but I made the phone call none the less. Let's get it over with!

"Come over on the 25Th"' the nice lady said on the line.

Great. What's that? 9 AM?

Sure, let's just start the day off with tears!

The 25Th came sooner than I thought it would.

Funny how that happens.
I pretend like I'm not nervous. I have done this at least 8 times.

I am truly a pro by now. I know the drill.

"Name, number , take a seat".

And then, finally, after watching countless women before you enter through those wide swinging doors with smiles and come out with bulging eyeballs, they call you back.
"Hi", says a woman who vaguely resembles Dr. Jekyll,

" I don't know you but in a moment I am going to torture you to tears! Strip from the waist down. Put on this armless, button less cape and walk down the hall in front of countless strangers who will be staring and pointing at you. There should be a vent blowing just before you reach the designated room that will blow your cape open revealing anything hidden to the rest of the world. Meet me in the stretching chambers. I'll be waiting to squeeze the Dickens out of your girls."

And I voluntarily made this phone call? What was I thinking?

Well, no one told me how to prepare for this procedure but have no fear!

I am experienced.

I am here to help you!

I am here to YOUR rescue.

I have the Answers to all of your questions about making that scary phone call...

It is all in the preparation after you say,

" Yes, Mam-mo Please"...

Let us begin......

PREPARING FOR THE YEARLY MAMMOGRAM
Many women fear their first mammogram, and even if you have had them before, there is the fear. But, there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test, and best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises in the privacy of your home.

EXERCISE 1:

Open your refrigerator door, and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.
Hold that position for five seconds.
Repeat in case the first time wasn't effective.

EXERCISE 2:

Visit your garage at 3 a.m. when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor sideways with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled.
Switch sides, and repeat for the other breast.

EXERCISE 3:

Freeze two metal bookends overnight.
Strip to the waist.
Invite a stranger into the room.
Have the stranger press the bookends against either side of one of your breasts and smash the bookends together as hard as he/she can.
Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year to do it again.

There now,
the next time you make that special phone call and say,

" Yes, Mam-mo department Please",

You will be properly prepared!

You're Welcome....